story time
so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
(via drunkorworse)
wait you mean you don’t use the word ‘fortnight’ in america???
Wait what? Then what do they use?
they don’t have a word
what do you mean they don’t have a word what kind of uncivilised people are they??
the fuck is a fortnight
It’s a word for ‘two weeks’
no it isn’t fortnight means when the whole country joins together to make forts and throw pillows at each other
(via drunkorworse)
the best kind of people are the really cute ones that you wanna cuddle and drink hot chocolate and go for walks in the park and watch dumb movies and build blanket forts with but also slam up against a wall and fuck their brains out
(via funtimesguaranteed)
Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif
and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this
Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years
(via neverfold)
gif:
why was the math book sad?
had too many problems
fuck you
no need to be a calcuhater
(via drunkorworse)
(Source: newstormsforoldl0vers, via silenceandthedrones)
(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via fishingboatproceeds)
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
(via blizbean)
Michael. 18. Scottish. English student in St Andrews. Come say hi :)
